Broken Hearts and Cries of Despair
by 3cheersforidiots
Summary: Drabble collection for the March Event (Tear My Heart Out) on the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Forum, aka angst mixed with angst, sprinkled with a little bit of angst. The randomest of pairings, there will be het, slash, femslash, canon, not canon, whatnot. Rated T for what it is. Enjoy. - COMPLETED
1. Raindrops

**Word count: 245**

 **The Raise a Witch or Wizard Challenge:** Month 4 - Complications/Dragon Pox - Write about the Malfoys.

 **Hogwarts/March Event – Angst**

* * *

It was raining.

The fact that it was raining in itself wasn't that interesting though, but the quiet knocks of the raindrops on the window, with the dim light that was seeping out of the room gave a rather eerie and depressive feeling to the scene.

 _Sets the mood alright_ , thought Draco Malfoy, who was sitting right under the window in his office, clutching a pitch black envelope in hand.

Maybe it was for the better, that the weather seemed to mirror his feelings. After all, who wanted to mourn in the bright sunlight? And why would the sun want to shine when somebody has just received the confirmation of their deepest fears?

At least this way, Draco wasn't the only one to suffer. Yes, it was selfish of him, but he couldn't really care. He knew what laid inside the envelope, but he was afraid to open it. Maybe, if he didn't, it would vanish and would reverse the content.

But he knew that even magic couldn't erase what has once been done, so he sighed, and ripped the letter open.

Inside laid a carefully folded piece of parchment, with a few words on it.

 _Mr Malfoy,  
It is with my deepest regret that I must inform you that your wife, Astoria Malfoy née Greengrass has succumbed to her illness and has passed away last night, at 3.20 AM.  
My condolences,  
Stephen Green, Head Healer of St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries_


	2. Hide Behind a Mask

**Word count: 465**

 **Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry** : Charms Assignment #5 – Write about someone who's closed off emotionally. (extra prompt used: (character) Hermione Granger)

 **March Event** : (genre) Angst

* * *

It is certainly a wonder how quickly people can change.

Because everybody starts off alike, and still, we all blossom into different people, depending on our backgrounds and our experiences.

We all start out open, we're all showing off our emotions when we're only babies, and we're all interested in everything new.

It is also a wonder how easily we can retreat when we just can't take the insults anymore, though it's a wonder of another kind. Surely, one's openness can change drastically, depending on the circumstances, but when one looks back on it, it is miserable how deep down one can get.

And it was such a shame that Hermione Granger had to experience it first-hand.

She had tried, really, she had tried for years. At first, she thought the bullying was because people didn't like when others were more intelligent than them, and that they would learn to deal with her as time passed. Then, she realized that it might have been herself, who had been in the wrong. And so, she tried to change. But it just wasn't enough; the insults never stopped. Even when they weren't said out loud, they lingered in the back of her head, like solid ropes, holding something back in her. She never realized that those straps were protecting her emotions, her feelings, she just let the ropes press the emotions together harder and harder, until they were compressed enough for her to be able to store them without showing any of them off.

She had never wanted it to be that way, she had always wanted to live a cheerful life, she had always hoped that there would be a little group of people she could turn to whenever she had troubling thoughts, but that group never came. Not even her friends could understand her fully, so she put up a mask, a seemingly cheerful, concerned and warm mask, while her actual feelings of despair were thrown into the shadowy corner. With time, she had managed to convince herself that it was all for the better.

Some days, she couldn't take it. Some days, she would find an empty classroom in an equally empty corridor, or a likewise empty bathroom stall where no one would bother her. There, she would finally let the tears come out, she would find an outlet for her suppressed feelings, and then she could go back to pretending she was fine for another few days, before breaking down again on her own.

 _But it was all for the better_ , she told herself. _At least this way, no one can hurt me._


	3. Maybe in Another Lifetime

**Word count: 364**

 **The Ultimate Hermione Pairing Club** : Hermione/Fleur Delacour

 **The If You Dare Challenge** : 835 (nearly)

 **Favourite Era Bootcamp Challenge** : 41 (hurt)

* * *

Falling for someone you knew you didn't stand a chance with was heart-breaking, even Hermione Granger had to admit that.

It was also frustrating, but mostly, it just felt hopeless. If she wanted to paint it with watercolour, she would have gone for various shades of grey, depending on how miserable she felt at the time. And what was even worse, she couldn't tell a soul about her crush, as it was nearly impossible, at least currently. And that was not because she didn't believe they wouldn't understand – after all, it was not an uncommon thing to fall for a Veela descendant, even for bushy-haired bookworms like her -, but because there was just so much going on in her and her friends' lives. And on top of that, the girl was already married, which kind of hurt Hermione's emotions even more. But at the same time, she couldn't blame anyone else for not facing her feelings earlier.

There was definitely something ironic about coming to these kinds of realizations while on the run, while hunting for horcruxes.

She had to admit that her days weren't exactly the brightest, but this was just emotionally too much to bear with.

She was sad because she had lost her parents, because she had made the forget. She was sad because in the outside world, outside of their tent everybody was dying and she couldn't do a thing to stop it from happening. She was sad because Ron had also left them, and it seemed like they were never going to finish up the dirty work. And she was sad because, at least for the time being, she had to bury her feelings for the girl she realized she have had feelings for ever since her fourth year.

And that was that. Even though she felt hollow on the inside, she had to suppress every one of her desperate cries, every ounce of her misery. It didn't feel good, but sometimes, one had to make sacrifices.

But even then, she couldn't help the lingering _"What if…?"_ question. If things would have gone differently, would she be happy? She didn't know. She just hoped.

Maybe, in another lifetime…


	4. Please, By All Means, Do Tell

**A/N: Sooo, Wolf AU. I'd actually had quite a time with figuring out who to write as a werewolf here. Then I realized that I had written about her being a veela, so the werewolf was just the next step. Enjoy.**

 **Word count: 750**

 **Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry** : Fairytales Assignment #5 – Write about broken trust. (extra prompts used: (emotion) outraged, (word) imperfection, (kind of) (creature) werewolf)

 **Ultimate Chocolate Frog Card Club:** (Gold) Werewolf – Write a Werewolf AU for any character besides Remus Lupin and Fenrir Greyback.

 **February Event** : (word) Devoted/Devotion, (emotion) Sensitive

 **March Event**

* * *

"What do you mean it was an accident?" Pansy shook her head in disbelief. "There's no such thing as accidentally telling somebody that your girlfriend is a werewolf!"

"I… I'm sorry?" Ron replied. "It just… slipped out."

"Well, you should've known better," Pansy concluded. She saw Ron opening his mouth in order to answer, but she quickly cut him off. This time he wasn't going to get away with excuses. "I don't want to hear it. I never told anyone about it, except for you and my boss, and I only told you because I trusted you with it. And oddly enough, personally, I never felt like telling anyone else about it, and that's not just because I'm devoted to keeping it a secret. How does that sound?"

"Look, I said it was a mistake," Ron tried to explain again, while quite awkwardly scratching the back of his head. "I can't do anything about it now, can I?"

"No, you can't," Pansy replied, narrowing her eyes. "But maybe then you shouldn't have done it in the first place. Maybe you should've thought it through before saying it out loud. But yeah, it was clearly just a mistake," she continued, sarcasm dripping from her tone.

"I really am sorry," Ron said. "But what can I possibly do now?"

"Do whatever you want," Pansy exclaimed. "I'm done with you. There's a line you can't just accidentally cross. I'm guessing you have problems with understanding that. So just leave me alone, and I might leave you alone as well," then, without waiting for an answer, she turned her back on the redhead and gracefully ambled towards the exit.

"But…" Ron called after her.

"Don't," she cut him off again. "I think you should be glad I didn't yell at you. That wouldn't have been very Slytherin of me," and so, she shut the door with a loud thud that echoed ear-piercingly through the living room.

Once outside, Pansy apparated back to her flat without a second thought. After she had landed just beside the entrance of her bedroom, she leaned against the wall, closing her eyes before slumping down on the floor.

She should've been outraged. Yes, okay, she had a certain feeling of fury pooling in her stomach concerning the whole situation, because she really was angry with Ron, but at the same time, all those feelings of anger were overwhelmed by the helplessness and the despondency. She didn't know what she was going to do, now that she was a known werewolf, thanks to her ex-boyfriend. She did have a job alright, but in the back of her head, there was a lingering fear of her being fired, since social recognition and contacts were important factors in her job, and with the breaking news about her, she could see her carefully built up web of acquaintances crumbling down in one swift movement.

And at this point, her frustration was not directed towards Ron; instead, her problem was lycanthropy itself. It just added to the plate that the person closest to her disclosed her state, even though she trusted him not to.

Ever since she was bitten – and it had been a good few years, since it had happened not long after the Battle of Hogwarts – she tried to reduce the whole thing to a mere imperfection in her mind, but it never really worked. Sure, it was a routine for her to turn into a wolf once a month, but it was still a sensitive topic, and she had always felt vulnerable whenever it came into a discussion. She was easily offended when somebody talked about werewolves, and so, it was not a surprise that it easily became one of her most treasured secrets. And at one point, she swore to herself that if somebody was to give this secret out for free, then she would never forgive them.

And now it came down to this. She didn't want it happen, but it did, and it left her feeling pained. She had trusted him, but he abused this trust, whether or not he realized it, and it had a worse effect on her than it had on him. It just wasn't fair.

Tears quietly strolled down on Pansy's face. She wasn't the one to wear her heart on her sleeve, but sometimes she just couldn't bear with the pressure. And now that she was left heartbroken, she simply let the tears fall. Scraping herself together could wait until the next day.


	5. The Man With the Umbrella

**Word count: 331**

 **The Ultimate Hermione Pairing Club:** Hermione/Roger Davies

 **2nd Annual Triwizard Tournament** : Hermione Granger/Must take place outside during terrible weather

 **March Event**

* * *

It was a particularly rainy Saturday, which was pretty ironic in a way, because Hermione Granger had just had a nasty breakup, and was currently sitting in the bus stop, gazing at the drops of water falling from the sky.

What's more, she didn't even have an umbrella or anything, since she had thought she wouldn't need it anyway. And so, she was soaking wet, the water dripping from her locks – which were usually very bushy and uncontrollable, but now, her hair just sat on her shoulder, the rain weighing it down.

And there she was, sitting on a bench in the bus stop, until she heard a manly voice coming from her right.

"Hey, haven't you heard that the bus isn't working on weekends?" the man, who was holding up a blue-striped umbrella, asked.

"It isn't?" Hermione turned to face the man before sighing. "Well, that's just great."

"Have had a bad day?" the man inquired.

"I guess you could say that," Hermione nodded. "Though I'm guessing you wouldn't want to hear about my inner turmoil."

"That depends," the man shrugged. "But I'm just a random stranger for you."

"True," Hermione exclaimed, then waited for a few moments before continuing. "What am I going to do now?"

"I could give you a lift, if you want," the man answered, to which Hermione's head spun around to face him again. She didn't expect him to still be there.

"Really?" she asked.

"Sure, it's not a problem," he shrugged.

"But I'm just a random stranger, who have had a bad day," Hermione pointed out.

"Would you rather stay here in the rain, waiting for the bus that won't come?" the man reasoned.

"Honestly? No," Hermione shook her head. "I just don't trust people I've just met."

"You can call me Roger. That way, I'm not a stranger anymore," he said. "So, random stranger who have had a bad day, you coming?"

"Call me Hermione," she nodded while stepping under the man's umbrella.


	6. This Is Our End

**A/N: This thing here was a goddamn hard task to do. Like, this is just over 100 words, and it took me good 2 hours, because I couldn't use words like was, with, were, while, would, between, wish, want, know and such. And I'm a third person, past tense writer. Whatevs. Enjoy.**

 **Word count: 148**

 **2nd Annual Triwizard Tournament** : Stage 1/Round 2 - No using the letter 'w'.

 **The Restricted Collection** : No using the letter 'w'.

 **The Ultimate Hermione Pairing Club** : Hermione/Anthony Goldstein

 **March Event**

* * *

He told her their relationship had come to an end. He told her they could still be friends though, if she liked. She understood him, since the decision had been mutual, but it still hurt.

It hurt more than anything else she had experienced before.

They used to be so happy together. For years and years, people used to look up to them as the perfect couple. But, as it seemed, everything must come to an end, and that time has come for them.

She shouldn't have cried, because they ended it in peace. She shouldn't have cried, because she needed to preserve the memory not as something bitter, but as something pleasant. She shouldn't have cried, because their end marked the beginning of something else.

And still, she did.

"It's okay, Anthony," she faintly muttered after he had left her apartment. "I'll remember our time together forever."


	7. Getting to You

**A/N: Have you ever noticed that Harmony is a fitting pairing for literally every scenario? (I actually didn't plan this to be that way, but then it just turned out like this. Oh well). Enjoy.**

 **Word count: 518**

 **Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry** : Charms Extra Credit #5 - Write about someone not giving up and getting to the emotionally closed person (max 700 words)

 **Raise a Witch or Wizard Challenge** : Half-blood/Boy - Write about Harry Potter.

 **March Event**

* * *

Harry didn't expect to hear somebody crying on the loo, while he was snooping back to the Gryffindor Common Room. In fact, he did not expect to hear anything, but while he was strolling down the third floor corridor, he heard the faint cries of a girl, coming from the girl's bathroom at the end of the hallway.

For a few moments, he stopped in his tracks and contemplated about whether or not he should go over and see who was there. Then, his curiosity got the better of him, and he fastened his steps towards the bathroom door. When he reached the entrance, he creaked the door open. Inside, he saw the all-too-familiar bunch of frizzy, chestnut-coloured hair that belonged to his best friend. For a few moments, he just stood there, trying to comprehend the situation he found himself in, before he made his way over to the girl and squatted down next to her, trying not to be as awkward as he usually was.

"Just go back to your dorm, Harry, you don't have to worry about me," Hermione sniffed before the boy could've opened his mouth. "I'm okay."

"No, you're not okay, 'Mione," Harry replied, not taking his eyes off of his friend. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," the girl shook her head dismissively. "Seriously, just leave me alone."

"Hey," Harry called softly. "I'm not leaving you here to cry. I just want to know what happened to you."

"It's... It's not important," Hermione muttered.

"It is for me," Harry exclaimed. "I'm your best friend, you know you can tell me."

"I know, but I don't want you to fret over my problems," Hermione explained. "They're not that important."

"They are. I can promise you I won't laugh at it; you know I would never do that," Harry tried once again. Not long after, he heard the bushy-haired Gryffindor as she took a small breath before nodding.

"Fine," she said. "It's just that I can't bear this anymore. We're on the edge of a war, I worry about our safety, and I don't have any energy left to stay on the top of all my classes. And the Slytherins don't leave me alone either. I thought that maybe with time they would stop, they would grow out of it, but no. I just don't know what to do anymore," she finished, after which tears once again started crippling down her cheeks. Harry then, not really knowing what to do, wrapped his arms around the girl.

"Don't cry," he whispered, trying to keep his voice calm. "Ron and I will always be here for you. It's all going to be okay."

"Thank you," she whispered, locking her gaze onto Harry's. Then, without a second thought, she pressed her lips to his. The kiss didn't last more than mere moments, it was sweet and it was innocent, but it still stirred something inside Harry.

"Promise me you'll stay with me?" Hermione asked after a while.

"I promise," Harry answered, while dragging himself and Hermione off the floor. "Come on, we should be getting back to the Common Room."


	8. Forget

**A/N: So, daily Angst update #9. Enjoy.**

 **Word count: 235**

 **The Ultimate Hermione Granger Pairing Club:** Hermione/Adrian Pucey

 **March Event**

* * *

Why was it so hard to forget?

Why was the memory of him so excruciating, and why couldn't she get it out of her head? How did he manage to stick himself in her permanently, and why did it hurt when he left, leaving bits and pieces behind, wedged into her soul, prickling her heart from the inside?

He was just another former Death Eater, who was raised by the prejudices that were passed down from generation to generation in ancient pureblood families, wasn't he?

 _No, he was different_ , echoed a tiny a voice in her head, whenever she tried to get rid of the thoughts about the man, whom she met only once, and still that meeting was being replayed in her mind on a loop. Every day, from when she woke until she left for bed, the way he smirked at her after he helped her out on that fateful day plagued her everydays.

They didn't talk much afterwards, just a few quick hellos and goodbyes, like the casual acquaintances that they were, and still, she waited for the moment when he would once again initiate a friendly conversation with her, much like on that day. She wouldn't have admitted it, but she was secretly hoping that one day it would all change.

She wouldn't have admitted it, but she was irreversibly falling for Adrian Pucey, and it hurt her like nothing else.


	9. Numb

**A/N: Daily angst update #10. This one is pretty unique, because it's not written for anything other than the March Event and for my own enjoyment. So, enjoy.**

 **Word count: 329**

 **Warning for unnecessary alcohol consumption (talk about recurring plot points though), and mild swearing.**

* * *

It was really hard to pinpoint why she had decided to spend her night at the little bar in downtown London, getting as wasted as she would go. In all her life, she was against drinking, especially drinking to drown something that was deep on the inside, but now that she was the one sitting with a glass full of firewhiskey in front of her, she understood all those people a little bit better.

Although, she supposed, she really didn't know why was she doing it in the first place. It wasn't really because she wanted to numb some kind of pain, because the pain had always been there, it was a permanent scratch on her soul, but somehow, at the same time, all that pain just made her feel less of the outside world. It was ironic, because even though the pain was anything but numbing, it still made her numb.

Maybe it was because she wanted to forget this numbness. Maybe it was just because she has had a pretty crappy day so far – at least crappier than usual. Usually, she could find some kind of satisfaction in her job in the Ministry, because she liked what she was doing, but today, it just couldn't interest her. And the sniggers her boss sent in her direction was just infuriating on this particular day. So, she decided to drown it all in alcohol.

Although, she didn't expect _him_ , of all people, to plop down next to her on the empty bar stool, with a drink in his right as well.

"Feeling like shit, Granger?" the blonde asked, turning his gaze onto her, to which he earned a simple scoff. "Well, join the club. To all these shitty days!" he exclaimed gulping down a good bit of his firewhiskey.

Hermione, although usually, she would've done otherwise, raised her glass as well, and took a sip from the drink.

At least somebody was miserable enough to feel the same way.


	10. Family Second

**Word count: 257**

 **2nd Annual Triwizard Tournament:** Your story must include at least 5 words from any non-English language (7 words total, 3 in Latin and 4 in French)

 **March Event**

The blond was gripping a little silver plaque in his hand, on which laid two dragons, and a huge green 'M' letter. Under the dragons were three word, written in Latin, saying _Sanctimonia Vincet Semper_.

 _Pureté sera toujours conquerir;_ this was written on the backside of the little plaque, which meant the exact same thing, only, it was written in French, rather than Latin.

The man sighed, as he gripped the badge a bit tighter than before. For him, this was a moment of goodbye, a moment of change, and a moment of sadness. This was where he decided to deviate from a path he was assigned to when he was born, this was the time when he would throw his family's beliefs away.

It felt kind of bittersweet, because while his childhood memories weren't exactly the brightest, it was still home, and for the longest time, it had given him a false sense of security. But all of that was over now, and it while it seemed frightening and a little bit sad, he knew it was the right thing to do.

And so, he buried all his fears and bad memories when he dropped the plaque on the grass and muttered an inaudible spell to which it exploded into a million green and silver pieces.

Soon after, he felt a tiny hand as it grasped his own, and without any remorse, he smiled faintly at the brunette standing next to him. He didn't know what the future held, but he was ready to face it.


	11. A Plead for Mercy

**A/N: And once again, an only March Event drabble. I kind of wanted to get this out of me right now, so yeah. Enjoy.**

 **Word count: 611**

* * *

 _Dear diary,_

 _I won't be specific this time, but it's nice to have someone to write my feelings down to, even if this someone is just an imagination. I think I may have already written this down, but I've already had an experience with writing to actual people in a diary, and it didn't turn out well. Actually, I was pretty surprised that mum even let me keep another journal after what happened that year. At least here, I can talk to whoever I imagine to do so._

 _But that's not my point._

 _What I actually wanted to talk about is that I feel lonely. I mean, yeah, I have Hermione and she's a really good friend, but she doesn't care much about things like Quidditch or talking about boys, or any of that stuff that's in my interest. Then there are all my brothers; all of them are idiots. Ron simply wouldn't understand me, even if I wanted to talk to him about my feelings (but who wants to talk about feelings with Ron anyway? I don't really understand how can Hermione fancy him, really, but I guess if she's fine with it, then I won't stop her either), and the others are all out of Hogwarts, so a face-to-face conversation would be too much trouble. Then there's Luna, but she's a bit too far off the Earth. And let's not talk about my roommates; I think I'd rather have a lovely chit-chat with Ron than them._

 _So, I feel alone. And I did think at some point that maybe if I wrote it all down in this diary, it would make it better, it would go away and I could go back to my usual, cheerful self, but from time to time, it comes back, and I don't know what to do with myself, because I feel like it's not me. I'm not a girl, who quietly cries in a shadowy corner because they're hurt; I usually face my fears head on, and I usually succeed, but for some reason, it doesn't work with this, and it makes me nervous._

 _I really don't know what to do with it, to be completely honest. Sometimes I feel like utter shit, and I have no one to talk to, other than this occasional diary I keep, and I also keep it hidden from anyone else. This little book is my biggest secret, and if anyone was to find it, I'd first hex them into next Sunday (and I do have quite a good Bat-Bogey Hex), then I would probably very uncharacteristically shed a few tears of frustration. I wouldn't cry; I like to believe I'm stronger than that, but it definitely wouldn't make me feel better._

 _It's just that I really don't know why I have these feelings of desperation and depression. Mum would probably say it's just temporary, and I shouldn't care about it, but I can't really do that, can I? And it's really hard to keep up a mask of cheerfulness when you just want to scream on the inside._

 _I think it may be because of the war, even though we're supposed to be safe here, at Hogwarts. It may just be that I'm too worried about my family, my friends, and everybody out there. I have no idea. I just want it to stop, because I don't want to feel down in the dumps anymore._

 _But I guess until I find anything that keeps my mind off of these feelings, I'll just have to write in this diary again from time to time. I don't know how much that'll help though. Whatever._

 _Until next time,_

 _Ginny_


	12. Letter of Goodbyes

**A/N: Yes, I do have a thing for letter-style writings (and I still love Angsty!Draco. Leave me be). Enjoy.**

 **Word count: 560**

 **Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry** : Alchemy Assignment #6 – Write about somebody who doesn't want to live anymore.

 **March Event**

* * *

 _For anyone who might read this,_

 _This is the last thing that I'll ever write in my life, before I go and explore the realms of the Otherworld, or whatever may lie beyond our lives on Earth._

 _I have my reasons for doing what I am planning on doing, and I have my reasons for leaving this letter behind._

 _I am writing this letter because of the pride I still have, because even if I will be forgotten the moment I'll be gone, I still hope that somebody will find this piece of parchment, and they will carry my memory on with themselves. It is quite selfish of me, but selfishness runs in the family, after all. Malfoys pride themselves with being unreasonably selfish, and even though I did deviate from most of my family's beliefs in my lifetime, there is a certain amount of things one cannot simply leave behind._

 _One may ask, then why did I decide to end my life so abruptly?_

 _Well, I hate to admit that I was wrong about numerous things, but it is a fact that I was wrong about numerous things. And I tried to make amends after I made this realization, but it was too late, and nobody accepted me anymore. And in hindsight, they may have been right about it. If I was in their position, I would not have forgiven myself either._

 _After I realized that I would not have a future in Great Britain, I fled and tried to make a fortune elsewhere, but as you, dear reader may have guessed, it didn't work out either. I felt out of line wherever I went, and I didn't know what to do without the steady financial base I had, back when I was still living in England._

 _And so, I came back, but it did not make me feel better at all. In fact, I sunk into the dark hole of depression, and I never crawled out of it ever since. At some point, I got a letter from one of my old friends, suggesting I find a counsellor, but I refused, as I felt like it would not help me. I do not know if it would have, but I still doubt it._

 _And after a while, I just gave up. What is the point of living, if you cannot be happy anymore, no matter how hard you try? What is the point of living, if all you do is drink a few glasses of firewhiskey every day, then, if you still have time, you take a walk around the Manor, all alone, and do literally nothing else? What is the point of living, if you don't have any friends and loved ones left to care about? And what is the point of living, if you cannot talk about it with anyone?_

 _I tried to answer those questions, but the only thing that came up to me was a big red 'nothing' sign with glowing letters._

 _I have nothing left to live for. But I do not wish anyone to follow in my footsteps, even if they feel the same way. I've been a wrong example to follow too many times._

 _And so, with that, I'm signing off. And I hope that whoever finds this letter will understand my decisions too._

 _See you on the other side,_

 _DM_


	13. Afraid of Myself

**Word count: 328**

 **Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry** : Fairytales Assignment #6 – Task A – Write about somebody being afraid (extra prompt used: (character) Remus Lupin).

 **March Event**

* * *

One could only be afraid of something they didn't know much about, right?

They could only be afraid of what was lurking in the shadows, something that was waiting in the fog of the future, waiting to be cleared up, something from the greatest depths of darkness, something unknown… If only.

The truth was, Remus was afraid of something he knew rather well and was experienced in, something he had to deal with on a monthly basis, and still something he couldn't quite understand fully, not even after so many years.

And the worst of it was that it was all in himself, it was something he knew he could never get rid of, no matter how hard he tried, something that would always be running in his veins what would be crawling under his skin for eternity, something that would haunt his dream until the day his heart stopped beating. But he just couldn't stop it, whenever it came to the surface – every full moon -, he lost all control over the beast, and in the morning after, when the wolf went back to the crawling on the inside, he lived with the lingering fear of having bitten somebody around him for days, or weeks, or up until the time when the full moon came again.

He wasn't afraid of hurting himself anymore; he got used to the scratch mark and the pain he caused himself over time, he feared hurting his friends, who had always helped him through the moon. He feared for them, because he didn't ever want them to ever experience what he himself was destined to go through; they didn't deserve it, and he had always thought that he didn't deserve all the help he had gotten.

If there was something Remus had learnt from werewolfry, it was the fact that having to live with being afraid of yourself mixed with the self-hatred was hard, and he had nothing that would ease it.


	14. A Lie is Still a Lie

**A/N: I'm tired, and I still decided to finish writing this. I don't know if it even makes sense. Whatever. Enjoy.**

 **Word count: 318**

 **Deck of Cards Club** : 4 of Clubs – Write about a white lie + prompts: (dialogue) "What makes you think that I lied to you?"/"Because you just admitted that you lied to me.", (feeling) guilt, (action) embracing someone, (action) giving someone a fake smile

 **Candy from the Trolley** : Milk Chocolate Frogs/Prompts: delicate, bow, deceive

 **Raise a Witch or Wizard Challenge:** Month 6/Use the prompts: afraid, unready, tears

 **March Event**

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"What makes you think that I lied to you?" he asked, giving her the softest smile he could muster.

"You just admitted that you lied to me," she shook her head. "I know your intent wasn't bad, but you still deceived me; even if you don't want to admit to it, it was still a lie."

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, eyes locked on the floor beneath him, as he felt the feeling of guilt crippling through his veins. "I guess I was unready to tell you the truth. I didn't know how to deliver it. I was afraid."

"You know," she started slowly, after moments spent in silence. "I value honesty in a relationship. Honesty and loyalty; I guess I do, just like a true Gryffindor. And I can't continue this if constantly have to find out that you've been lying to me. Even if it's just about little things, like you telling me you forgot to do something, when you actually didn't mean to do it in the first place, like when I told you to go buy a new bow for your tuxedo, and then I had to do it myself because you couldn't give a damn about it… It makes me feel so much worse if I find out you've not been telling the truth. Am I the problem?" she asked, feeling tears dwelling up in her eyes. He noticed that she was close to crumbling, so he took a step forward and cradled her in his arms.

"It's not you; it's never you," he hushed, his delicate fingers running up and down her back in comfort. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," she forced a smile on her face, although she knew it was all just a mask. But she couldn't be weak in front of others; breaking down was very unlike her. "Don't worry about it. Just promise me you won't ever lie anymore."


	15. The Man She Never Met

**A/N: Daily angst update #25? Kind of? I literally started this one approximately 10 days ago, and only now did I have the time to write it. Much wow. Enjoy.**

 **Word count: 279**

 **Raise a Witch or Wizard Challenge** : Month 5/Part 2/James – Your story must take place at a graveyard.

 **The Ultimate Hermione Pairing Club** : Hermione/Regulus

 **March Event**

* * *

It was strange to mourn somebody she never met; and still, there she stood, in the cemetery, kneeling in front of a grave that should've meant nothing more than a war casualty for her, tears prickling her eyes as she placed a few magnolias on the tombstone.

Magnolias represented dignity – nobility and worthiness, and she found them fitting for the occasion. The bushy-haired girl had never known the man; she had only heard stories about him from Sirius, but ever since she had found out the truth about him, she had been thinking of him as somebody who deserved recognition – after all, even though no one would've liked to admit it, he had done so much for the case of the Light Side – unintentionally or not.

If it wasn't for him, they wouldn't have gotten hold of the horcrux, they wouldn't have been able to defeat the Dark Lord, and they wouldn't have been able to bring an end to the suffering of so many witches and wizards. Even though he never got to learn about it, he contributed to the end of the war a lot more than he probably thought he could.

And that was why she decided to pay him a visit. That was why she had her head buried in her hands while she tried to stop the tears from falling.

She didn't know why she felt the need to cry – after all, he wasn't anybody important in her personal life; they never even met – but getting it all out felt relieving.

And so she just stood there, the aftermath of her crying still clouding her eyes as she almost inaudibly muttered a few prayers.


End file.
